Don’t Let Summer Come Too Soon
I have lived through 20 years changing seasons. Yet, this is the first time I have distinctly felt the temperature on my skin change. I have felt the lacking need of a sweater.
And a profound realization has sunk in.
Change in our environment feels natural because the transition is mediated by a subtlety. We name this subtlety spring when it grows warm from cold, and we name it autumn when the reverse happens.
This subtlety is integral to the seamless cycle of change the external world experiences.
In the same way, our internal world is also constantly changing. Thoughts, feelings, sensations continually arise and fade. Emotions that either boomerang us to ecstasy or plummet us deep into despair also fade. Our bodies change too.
Yet, we feel a sense of persistence through this change.
You might think it’s your sense of self. But are you the same person you were five years ago? Or are you even the same person with different audiences? Do you act with your parents the same way you act with your friends?
Just like spring, another subtlety lives within us that makes internal change seem seamless.
But why is connecting with this subtlety important?
We derive a perverse pleasure from remaining stuck in the past. The comfort of our habits end up defining us.
Our identification with this comfort not only causes dissatisfaction but also prevents us from connecting to the subtlety.
Do you see the theme? Our life is a constant alternation between the pursuit of pleasure, the short-lived state believing the pleasure will last forever, and the ensuing pain of losing that source of pleasure.
Until we can find a source of permanence.
Everything we attach ourselves to has a price, a condition, a reason. And we end up believing we can manipulate those reasons to last forever.
Remind yourself of all the people who came into your life, held your hand and walked by your side, yet no longer remain.
Remind yourself of all the aspirations that were the nucleus of your attention, yet today you feel indifferent to them.
Despite everything you have lived through, something refuses to leave your side.
No matter how deep you immerse yourself in the drama of change, no matter how astray you fall from your ideal self, this entity refuses to give up on you.
Do you know why?
Because unlike everything that changes, this entity does not have reason to stick with you. It does not have a condition, a price, a motive, an incentive, an INTENTION.
It quietly rests in the background watching you chase things that won’t last. It watches you trip over the same goddamn rock, yet being there to pick you up.
Only if you can plunge into its ocean of unconditional love, you will learn to love yourself. It will remind you there is no reason to love yourself despite what society says.
That expensive car, or a sculpted physique will not help you get closer to this source of unconditional love.
You only need to turn the searchlight inward to find what is feeling the change.
So, don’t let summer come too soon. Don’t get swayed by the drama of change.